Brother and sister cut off contact with their dad after he demands they get adopted by his new wife, other siblings take father's side: 'You're being ungrateful’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 10, 2025 6:00 PM EST

We all know those beautiful and moving videos of parents surprising their step-children with adoption papers, as they become their official parents for life. Creating this combined family should be a wonderful and exciting thing that every single member of the family wants. This means that you cannot force it to happen–it must happen naturally, with the approval of both the children and the parents.

If you try to force the unification of two families, you should not be surprised if you are met with pushback, especially with young children. When kids are forced to accept a new parent to their family, without giving them a chance to properly say goodbye to the parent they lost, or without the chance to connect to the new addition–it is simply not going to work. Not only will it cause them to push back on the new parent, but it will also drive them away from the existing one, and if you don't believe me, the next story will surely prove my point.

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  • The four children in this Reddit story lost their mom, and two months later their dad already met someone new. That might have been accepted by the kids if they were not immediately forced to accept this woman as their new mother. This woman had children on her own, and before they knew it, all 7 kids were being pushed to become this new happy family, and not all of them were ready for this kind of change.

    If that isn't enough, the dad and his new wife decided to adopt each other's children, even though some of the kids, on both sides, refused to go along with the adoption. This led to a huge rift – both between the parents and the children, and between the siblings themselves. Keep scrolling to read what happened next.

  • Cheezburger Image 10452114688
    via Farknot_Architect

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for telling my sister if the show she kept sending me clips of didn't help her understand why I'm no contact with our dad then there's no hope for her?
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • I (31F) have three siblings. I have an older brother who's 32 and two younger sisters who are 27 and 26. When we were kids our mom dd from c er. 18 months later our dad met and married his second wife, who had
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • also lost her husband and had three children with him. They knew each other for less than two months when they decided we were all going to be one big. blended family. Then it took less than a year for the word
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • adoption to come up. They wanted to adopt each other's kids. Three of us were not okay with this. Me and my brother and then wife #2's oldest son. We were the three who remembered
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • our late parents really well and didn't want to have a new mom or dad. This did not matter to the adults. My dad told me and my brother that our younger sisters were on board and our younger two
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • stepsiblings were on board and majority rules. I was 10 years old at the time and it had been 3 years since my mom had di d. The house became a battle field after this decision because they could not get us older three on
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • board and when they went through the process to adopt each other's kids, they were denied the ability to adopt the three of us who didn't want it. So the younger four kids were adopted by their stepparent. The
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • older three were not. The anger could be felt by all the kids and the younger ones blamed us and didn't understand why we weren't on board. Wife #2 and I argued a lot in my teens. She tried to reach out to
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • her as a mother. I could be civil and respectful if she was just an adult. But I told her I didn't want another mother and she didn't like that. She would also tell me how much it hurt that me and my brother didn't want to be her
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • kids. She'd say she loved us and all she wanted was to call all 7 of us her kids. She said she could not understand the need for us to hold onto the deed and she said it's not like we didn't still see our late parents families so we
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • should grow the fok up and let them be happy. I told her she should grow the fok up and accept she can't force people to be her kids. There were several attempts to push the adoption through
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • Supreme Court Application for Adoption In pursuant of the Adoption Act 2003, Chapter 5 (Initial Application) this form represents a first request for consideration of adoption of person or persons stated hereon. 1. Persons covered by the prescribed act. 2. Classes of persons covered by the prescibed act. Select applicant's entitlement- Adoptee Adoptive Parent Birth Parent Interested Party Relative Court File: Child's Name prior to Adoption 1. Child's Name prior to Adoption 2. Child's Name prior
    via NeilStanners

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • without us wanting it and legally it was rejected every time. We were even dragged to a therapist who tried to talk us into submission about the topic. The relationships were all very strained. My relationship with my
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • brother is the only strong one today and we're both no contact with our dad and wife #2. To the best of my knowledge wife #2's oldest son has no contact with anyone, including his siblings.
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • My brother and I still have a relationship, albeit a strained one, with our sisters. They were invited to our weddings and have met our kids. But they don't approve of the no contact and they are on a lower contact now
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • because they have said our kids should know dad and wife #2.1 disagree and have said it would not be healthy but my sister's don't overly care. There was a show on TLC a few years ago called the Blended
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • Bunch. I never watched it but saw some clips and it hit close to home. One of my sisters saw it and sent me Tik Tok clips that centered around some of the kids not wanting to be adopted and one of the relatives of the family being the voice of reason.
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • Only my sister kept saying I was a s' head like the relative who said they wouldn't want it either and it was wrong to force on the kids. I told her after several comments that if the clips didn't help her see why I went no contact and how awful it is to see
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • crying kids and to still try and push them then there's no hope for her at all. I told her she didn't live through the experience in the same way our brother and I did. Her reply back was that I was ungrateful and should see those
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • kids being brats and trying to ruin a good thing just like we did. She also told me to say there's no hope for her shows how repulsive I am as a person.
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • After all this I'm pretty sure no contact will need to extend to both sisters (because both act the same only one has TikTok for this interaction). But I could still be an AH in this so I'm asking if I am (or not).
    via NaturalNotice7572
  • YouSayWotNow You and she had very different experiences because you were older and had stronger memories of your mother. Each of you siblings have your own personalities and feelings,
    via YouSayWotNow
  • and your relationship with stepmother was not the same as her experience. Also, the fact that your father and stepmother repeatedly kept trying to force you and your brother and stepbrother to accept adoption so many times will no
    via YouSayWotNow
  • doubt have caused huge stress, anxiety and upset for the three of you. That will also have had a huge impact on the relationship between you, your father and stepmother. If your sister thinks so poorly of you that she thinks you were a
    via YouSayWotNow
  • brat and that your dad and stepmother deserve to be in your life, then she doesn't think much of you at all. If it's better for YOUR mental health to cut her out, do so.
    via YouSayWotNow
  • It's not like you haven't tried your best to remain in touch with your siblings whilst choosing to protect yourself from your dad and stepmother. NTA
    via YouSayWotNow
  • FoxySlyOldStoatyFox Your NTA. It's a shame that your sister is so full of hate. A cynic would speculate that she was brought up by people who had sh values and put their own happiness above their children, and that your sister continues to hold onto those values.
    via FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • A nasty cynic would suggest that you should break contact by telling her that if she does her children should be encouraged to forget about her as quickly and as completely as possible, in keeping with her own (lack of) values, but I don't quite go there myself.
    via FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • ZookeepergameWise774 Good Lord, of course you're NTA. And yes, it seems your sister is incapable of accepting any reality that does not fit her cookie- cutter, Hallmark movie, vision, so needs to be either NC or LC. You seem to have moved on with your life. She needs to do the same.
    via ZookeepergameWise774
  • OverMIMs NTA and you're sisters should stop trying to get life lessons from TikTok
    via OverMIMs

  • What advice would you give to the siblings in this story? Feel free to let me know in the comments down below!

    After that, check out this story of an employee who got back at a micromanager and his demands regarding time off.

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family drama aita adoption kids brother mother siblings stepmom reddit story parenting family sister Reddit women parents children Father
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